My Beautiful Mommy

My Beautiful Mommy, a controversial children's picture book created by Dr. Michael Salzhauer, aims to help mothers discuss cosmetic surgery with their young children. The story explains that mommy's frequent trips to the doctor are not because she is 'sick' but because she wants to be 'prettier'. Unfortunately, the plot does not explore what 'pretty' means, or why mommy does not see herself as pretty enough the way she is. The fact is that there is nothing wrong with mommy - the problem, so to speak, is mommy's self-esteem.

Children are not able at such a young age to look in the mirror and find fault in themselves - that is something we teach them. My Beautiful Mommy offers an easy option for mothers seeking to provide simple answers to complex questions. Rather than turning to a storybook version of reality, perhaps mommy should take a good long look inside. If she is not able to find the words to express the reasons for her actions, perhaps they are not worth acting on. Granted, the idea of a parent turning to their child and telling them that they are unhappy with the way they look, or that they feel inferior to other people is worrisome, to say the least. It seems reprehensible to give a child the notion that life is somehow better or more worth living if you have a pop star's cheek bones or wear smaller pants, but if you wouldn't say these things to a child, why would you say them to yourself?

Like most women I know, when I was a girl I thought that my mother was the most beautiful woman in the world. As the years have passed I have watched my face grow to resemble hers, and seeing her beauty in myself I have felt proud, confident, and connected to her in a truly unique way. I do not look like a movie star, and that is exactly the point - I look like my mother because I am a part of her, and she a part of me. Looking from the perspective of a child - which I may not be socially, but will always be to my mother - I am glad that she didn't take that away from me; I may have never understood.



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Elaine Raskin is the Director of Communications and Events at Talk To Jess. A Brooklyn native, she now lives in Los Angeles helping Jess transform the self-esteem of women and girls worldwide. Elaine has always dreamed of running away with the circus.