Purrfectly Content

This is the last guest blog post we have from Trudi Evans for the time being. If you have missed any of the great posts she honored us with, please check out the archived post section to catch up. We have truly enjoyed the entries Trudi has shared with us, and we look forward to bringing you more posts from her in the near future.

Trudi Evans is the publisher of As We Are Magazine(http://www.aswearemagazine.com) new space on the web for women to feel good, speak out and be heard. When she’s not promoting the magazine, Trudi acts as the president of the board of directors for the Eating Disorders Action Group (http://www.edag.ca), plays in the sprinkler with her 4 ½ year old son, hangs out with her husband of ten years, and chases the cat back into the house. She is currently growing pumpkins in containers on her deck and thinking about female super heroes.



Several years ago, we had this very large cat. When we adopted him, he was somewhere in the 20lb range, and a very lonely dude. He happily threw all 20lbs into any lap available at any time and would reward every kind touch with a deep rumbling purr.

He was with us for five years and in that time, we tried to help him shed more pounds than fur and become the svelte feline we knew he could be. After consulting the vet, we changed his food. We made sure he got the healthiest of treats. And then we tried exercise.

Exercising a cat might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever tried. I came home from the pet store one day, armed with a variety of toys to tempt his inner kitty into playing and running around. I carefully examined my purchases and found a shiny, crinkly, feathery thing on a stick that seemed like it would tempt any cat into being frisky.

I parked myself on the living room floor and crinkled the end of the new toy to catch the cat’s attention. He perked up, waddled over and had a look. I was on a roll. Using the plastic rod attached to it, I dragged the toy along the floor, and as it would get near the cat, he took a swat at it. He’s hooked, I thought.

I couldn’t have been more wrong. One swipe, and he flopped over, content to lay on the floor and watch as I made a fool out of myself, imitating how a cat, such as he, should use these great toys I had bought for him. I tried the squeaky mouse, the feathers-on-a-spring, and every last toy from that bag. He watched. Once, he stretched. And that was his entire exercise regimen.

If only he’d been as motivated as my friend Kate’s cat:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZpWL21hAh4

Hey Mom, Be Yourself

Another one from our fantastic guest blogger Trudi Evans...

Trudi Evans is the publisher of As We Are Magazine(http://www.aswearemagazine.com) new space on the web for women to feel good, speak out and be heard. When she’s not promoting the magazine, Trudi acts as the president of the board of directors for the Eating Disorders Action Group (http://www.edag.ca), plays in the sprinkler with her 4 ½ year old son, hangs out with her husband of ten years, and chases the cat back into the house. She is currently growing pumpkins in containers on her deck and thinking about female super heroes.



They say that when we look at the world through the eyes of children, we get to experience the firsts all over again.

My son Sam is 4 ½ years old. He goes to daycare part-time and he’s an affable, social kid. The girls call him Sam-Sam-the-ladies-man. The teachers are heartbroken that he’s off to school this fall and they won’t get their daily dose of Sam-lovin’. The boys take their time to high-five and hug him before he leaves every day. In fact, they sort of treat him like a rock star.

This was not my exact experience as a child. I was painfully shy and withdrawn (oh, how I’ve changed!). I sort of slipped in and out of the shadows. When Sam came home on Tuesday night and wanted his toenails painted purple, I wondered: can I handle the pain of childhood taunting again? How will I support him when they inevitably reject his non-conformist ways? This wasn’t the first I wanted to re-experience.

After his lavender bubble bath, my little metrosamuel got out and had his nails trimmed and painted. His wee toes now sport a deep and royal metallic purple. He was giddy with excitement at his cool new toes and could not wait for daycare the next day. He even passed on wearing his favourite shoes for sandals so his toes would be visible all the time.

Before I tell you what happened to Sam that day, let me tell you about David. David goes to Sam’s daycare and every day when he arrives, he heads straight for the dress-up clothes and pulls on the same purple princess gown over his camouflage shorts and football tee-shirt and wears it the entire day. He loves his purple gown.

When Sam arrived at daycare with his purple toes, he barreled down the stairs to show his favourite teacher. David ripped across the room, his purple gown flouncing around him, took one look at Sam’s toes and cried “Toenail polish is for girls!” and huffed off.

At 4 ½, my kid doesn’t quite get irony. My husband, on the other hand, couldn’t hold in his laughter. Amazingly, Sam just shrugged his shoulders, rolled his eyes and went off to play.

When he came home at the end of the day, I asked him if everyone loved his toes. His face was full of sadness. “They laughed at me mom. They thought it was silly for a boy to have toe paint.” I offered to remove it for him.

“No way! I’m wearing this forever.” He exclaimed.

This was a first I was happy to experience. Confidence and non-conformity are traits I always admire in others, and here I was admiring it in my son, age 4 ½.

Feel Good (originally published on As We Are)

Another one from our fantastic guest blogger Trudi Evans...

Trudi Evans is the publisher of As We Are Magazine(http://www.aswearemagazine.com) new space on the web for women to feel good, speak out and be heard. When she’s not promoting the magazine, Trudi acts as the president of the board of directors for the Eating Disorders Action Group (http://www.edag.ca), plays in the sprinkler with her 4 ½ year old son, hangs out with her husband of ten years, and chases the cat back into the house. She is currently growing pumpkins in containers on her deck and thinking about female super heroes.


Do you feel good about yourself? A big reason why I started my website As We Are (http://www.aswearemagazine) is to support women in feeling great about them. I believe that when women are confident, they become great creators of change. In order for me to go forward and support charitable groups with my skills and time and to publish my magazine, I needed to look at myself and say "wow, I rock". And you know what? I do. I'm not waiting to wear a size whatever before I tackle the world because I no longer need those external validations to move forward. And you don't either!
Let's explore how to feel good.

I’ve learned (albeit slowly), that the way I feel about myself is in my control. When my feel good cues came from other people in the form of compliments or admiration, my feel bad cues were in their hands as well. Negative observations about my work or appearance would bring me down and in order to be brought back up, I needed more validation from somewhere else.

That is, until I took control of my self-esteem. The first thing I did was make a pact with myself to stop putting myself down. For years, I was the queen of self-deprecating humor and verbal abuse aimed straight at me. Cheesy as it sounds, but you wouldn’t talk about others the way you talk about yourself, so why is it ok to put yourself down?

I have some theories. The first is that we are taught at a very young age, that a healthy self-esteem is actually conceit. And no one likes a conceited girl. The higher you see yourself, the farther they can knock you down. You are an open target when you feel good about yourself. Someone wants to knock you down a peg or two until you feel as badly about yourself as they feel about themselves. Compliments come to those who are lowest and need boosting. Teenagers live this day in and day out and sadly, adults don’t often shake it off as they mature.

What if you made all your choices based on what you thought you deserved, when you felt your worst? The fact is, we make a lot of choices in that moment. Theory number two includes having to admit that we have made some poor choices because we didn’t see ourselves as worthy of more. From choosing a partner who’s critical of our every breath, to staying at an unfulfilling job and ignoring our true talents and dreams, we create a life that validates all those negative feelings about ourselves. This creates conflict as we accept our bodaciousness. How does someone as amazing as me, live a life as lousy as this? Facing those choices and making great changes create anxiety, fear, and self-doubt.

A great support system makes it easier to deal with stepping out of the life you’re in and into the one you deserve, but what if you don’t have that support system? You may have friends and family who love you, but do they love themselves? When they don’t, they may have difficulty supporting your new rockin’ self and the life you want to create that reflects it. Your confidence reminds them of their own fear of loving themselves and they often feel left behind. That’s what As We Are is about – daily support to help you to keep moving forward with your awesomeness and build a network of confident, self-loving women.

What do you do to bring yourself up when you feel down?

Chick Flicks

Another one from our fantastic guest blogger Trudi Evans...

Trudi Evans is the publisher of As We Are Magazine(http://www.aswearemagazine.com) new space on the web for women to feel good, speak out and be heard. When she’s not promoting the magazine, Trudi acts as the president of the board of directors for the Eating Disorders Action Group (http://www.edag.ca), plays in the sprinkler with her 4 ½ year old son, hangs out with her husband of ten years, and chases the cat back into the house. She is currently growing pumpkins in containers on her deck and thinking about female super heroes.


I’m not a big movie-buff. I don’t see many films in the movie theatre (too cheap to hire a babysitter) and I generally know what I’m going to like, so I don’t see a lot of films that I presume will fall outside that realm. That sounds awful, I just realized; much like judging a book by its cover. I should work on that.

The term chick flick tends to be a bit derogatory. They are films that not only appeal to women more than men, but are assumed to be mindless and meaningless. The fact is, that isn’t always true. Some of my favourite films fall into this genre. So when you’re looking for something to feed your inner-chick, perhaps you’ll want to check out some of these. If you’ve seen them before, maybe it’s time to watch them again!

Auntie Mame (1958) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051383/
Long before the term chick-flick or the idea that single women could possibly be happy on their own, there was Rosalind Russell as Auntie Mame. Funny, independent, opinionated and ahead of her time, Mame never fails to remind me to be myself. Quote to live by: Yes! Live! Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!

A League of Their Own (1992) (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104694/)
This film stars some big name women: Gena Davis, Madonna and Rosie O’Donnell and was directed by Penny Marshall. It is a fictional story based on the real life All American Girls Baseball League that was started in the U.S.A. during World War II. While many of the able men were overseas fighting, the baseball commission decided they wanted to keep the folks at home focused on something positive and what do people love? Baseball! Thinking that the women would be more entertainer than athlete, they were dressed up in skirts and lipstick and paraded about, but they triumphed with their passion and skill for the sport. This movie never fails to make me well up with admiration and pride, and yes, I cry. But it’s a good cry.

Steele Magnolias (1989) (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098384/)
This movie has been around long enough that most people know it is a real tear-jerker, but the movie really shines in the way it depicts friendships among women. A variety of complex women played by Sally Field, Olympia Dukakis, Shirley MacLaine, Dolly Parton, Darryl Hannah and Julia Roberts, are woven together in ways that are real and heartbreaking and filled with hope. Olympia Dukakis plays Clairee and utters my favourite line in the movie: If you can’t find anything good to say about anybody, come sit by me. Watch this one with friends. Bring tissue.

Erin Brockovich (2000) (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0195685/)
I’m a bit of a sucker for movies based in real life. There are so many great stories about women that don’t get told and I’d like to see the film industry find a way to tell more of them. Erin is a real person who lived this real story, that Julia Roberts depicted in the Hollywood version. When a tenacious single mother with a big mouth takes on a big corporation on behalf of the little guy, she becomes a real-life heroine. Erin inspires.

The list goes on and on and on. I have an equally long list of movies I haven’t yet seen, but will keep working my way through. I’m always on the lookout for stories about women that inform and inspire me. It is not often that Hollywood gets it right when it comes to portraying women, so I feel it’s important to hold close the stories that ring true for me. The beauty of every art, including film, is that there is something for everyone. Selfishly, I hope they make more movies for me.

Bionic Blogger

Another one from our fantastic guest blogger Trudi Evans...

Trudi Evans is the publisher of As We Are Magazine (http://www.aswearemagazine.com) –a new space on the web for women to feel good, speak out and be heard. When she’s not promoting the magazine, Trudi acts as the president of the board of directors for the Eating Disorders Action Group (http://www.edag.ca), plays in the sprinkler with her 4 ½ year old son, hangs out with her husband of ten years, and chases the cat back into the house. She is currently growing pumpkins in containers on her deck and thinking about female super heroes.


In the mid-'70s, I was The Bionic Woman. Lindsay Wagner may have played her on TV, but I was on the real streets with my neighbourhood friend, Neil, who was The Six Million Dollar Man. We saved smaller children and animals, and protected the gardens with our bionic leaps, complete with sound effects. For our inspiration, watch this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKGXpFLMlLY).
I was entranced the other day when, on my giant television screen, an unfamiliar face appeared and claimed to be The Bionic Woman. I went to NBC (http://www.nbc.com/Bionic_Woman/) and lo and behold, she is back, and from the clip, she no longer moves with cheesy sound effects. In fact, she's tough, kicks some ass, and could be my revived super heroine.

The dictionary says that bionic means utilizing electronic devices and mechanical parts to assist humans in performing difficult, dangerous, or intricate tasks, as by supplementing or duplicating parts of the body. In my six-year-old head, it just meant cool. I wanted to be tough and cool just like her. I wanted to be strong and fast and be equal to my partner Steve Austin (The Six Million Dollar Man), never needing to be rescued.

In fact, when I would show fear of doing something, like jumping off a ten-foot-high snow bank, all Neil would have to say is, "...but you're bionic!" and my fear would dissipate. My superpower would take over, and off I'd leap (much to the demise of my mother's blood pressure).

NBC has a lot to live up to. I'm a 36-year-old woman who's looking for a super heroine to believe in. I'm tired of the current super heroes. Damsels be damned! I want my Bionic Woman to rescue mere mortal men.

And I want good dialogue. Yes, I want a lot from this show. I was a fickle fan of Gilmore Girls. I loved the speed at which they spoke, the smattering of sarcasm, and the way the dialogue was peppered with pop culture references. I enjoyed the strength of the women, not only the main characters, but also the women in the community—Miss Patty, Suki, and Babette.

Could NBC possibly combine the qualities of Gilmore Girls that I so admired with the speed and strength of the Bionic Woman and make a show that will have me lusting after my very own Bionic Woman Underoos? This fall, I'll find out.

Even if it's not great, please put it on your calendar and tune in for a few episodes. We need to tell the networks that the time has come for more strong female characters on television. We WILL watch!