The Temptation to Blame
Here is the second entry we received from our guest bloggers. This one is really awesome!!
We all do it. It’s easy. It makes the most sense in our heads. We want to be perfect. We want to think that there’s no way we did anything wrong in any situation.
This, my friends, is giving in to the ever-so-tempting blaming game.
Life is unfair. Or, your childhood was (blank), so you are stuck being (blank.) Sound familiar?
I thought so.
It’s extremely tempting to blame the world for your sadness, your everyday upsets, or just about anything else that happens. Yet, this game of pointing fingers takes your own life out of your own hands. The ball is definitely not in your court once you give in to those accusations.
I remember blaming absolutely everything I could find to explain away my problems. I was single because I was fat. I had very few friends because I was boring. Then, I started taking responsibility for my life…learning that I could take control of these things that seemed to be uncontrollable.
I realized that when I began to own the negative, I felt more empowered by the positive. If I could take responsibility for the bad things in my life, then I could take responsibility even further for the good. All of the things I used to blame my issues on did not go away, but they did start to become less of a burden once I accepted that I could change my idea of how these things affected me. If I stayed blaming my past or my weight or my friends/family for MY unhappiness, then I could never begin to perceive my life differently and more positively.
So, be fair to yourself… own your life. It’s way too easy to blame anything and everything for any given mood. For example, instead of assuming that, say, you are single because you are not attractive enough… why don’t you try delving deeper into your mind? What kind of vibes are you sending out? Don’t you think that negative self-image is being projected onto potential mates? Who is going to be attracted to someone who genuinely believes they are unattractive? Are you open to a healthy relationship or are you holding onto your negative beliefs about yourself and others?
See… it’s easy to blame one superficial thing. I do encourage you to be self-aware and insightful into your “accusations.” Take control, be powerful, and look beyond the superficial. Believe me… there is many great things to see if you just look past the surface.
We all do it. It’s easy. It makes the most sense in our heads. We want to be perfect. We want to think that there’s no way we did anything wrong in any situation.
This, my friends, is giving in to the ever-so-tempting blaming game.
Life is unfair. Or, your childhood was (blank), so you are stuck being (blank.) Sound familiar?
I thought so.
It’s extremely tempting to blame the world for your sadness, your everyday upsets, or just about anything else that happens. Yet, this game of pointing fingers takes your own life out of your own hands. The ball is definitely not in your court once you give in to those accusations.
I remember blaming absolutely everything I could find to explain away my problems. I was single because I was fat. I had very few friends because I was boring. Then, I started taking responsibility for my life…learning that I could take control of these things that seemed to be uncontrollable.
I realized that when I began to own the negative, I felt more empowered by the positive. If I could take responsibility for the bad things in my life, then I could take responsibility even further for the good. All of the things I used to blame my issues on did not go away, but they did start to become less of a burden once I accepted that I could change my idea of how these things affected me. If I stayed blaming my past or my weight or my friends/family for MY unhappiness, then I could never begin to perceive my life differently and more positively.
So, be fair to yourself… own your life. It’s way too easy to blame anything and everything for any given mood. For example, instead of assuming that, say, you are single because you are not attractive enough… why don’t you try delving deeper into your mind? What kind of vibes are you sending out? Don’t you think that negative self-image is being projected onto potential mates? Who is going to be attracted to someone who genuinely believes they are unattractive? Are you open to a healthy relationship or are you holding onto your negative beliefs about yourself and others?
See… it’s easy to blame one superficial thing. I do encourage you to be self-aware and insightful into your “accusations.” Take control, be powerful, and look beyond the superficial. Believe me… there is many great things to see if you just look past the surface.
posted by Jess at 9:17 AM
2 Comments:
Hi
Thanks for these mind opening and sooo real , true thoughts.
This is what I do every time, every day, blaming my childhood, my circumstances, the fact that others were making fun of me being overweight as a child.And even though this is over, I don't get these things anymore,people except me as I am, they believe in me,I am still stuck with the past.I don't believe in myself, I am negative with myself and very harsh on myself. And every time I try to build up my self-esteem I just slip on that single piece of my past.And that's my every time answer, why I can't succeed, why I can't get trough my failures.
I would like to somehow get through this and once and for all believe in myself, and don't blame my past, or others, not just for a few weeks or months, but every day of my life.
I am working on this myself. I know in my heart that until I am able to forgive (my family, my past, myself) I will continue to feel anger, to frustrate myself, to ultimately hold myself back. Forgiveness is not easy; it must be honest and complete. It is really the only way to end the cycle of blame, and to free yourself by moving forward.
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